Choose YOU! with Carmen Sakurai

Why Subscribe?

Because recovery from psychological abuse & dysfunctional conditioning isn’t linear - and real healing doesn’t come from a single transformative moment.

Abuse and dysfunctional conditioning turn damaging self-beliefs and unhealthy thoughts into automatic instincts - becoming the very source of how you see yourself, love, and function in the world.

Without intentionally creating new, healthy thoughts - and consciously practicing them, every day - you stay trapped in the cycle of emotional enmeshment.

It’s why I created this space… so you can practice Choosing YOU every day.

What’s Choose YOU! Pocket Coaching?

Unlike private coaching where we hop on a call for 60 minutes, or online courses you work through alone, my Pocket Coaching is an ongoing journey out of emotional entanglement that I walk WITH you.

Depending on your subscription tier, you’ll get:

✅ The most relevant, science-backed insights on narcissism, emotional abuse, and recovery… plus raw, real-life survivor perspective

✅Skills to spot, remove & replace the distorted beliefs that keep you stuck

✅ A space to ask your most pressing questions - and get science-backed answers… not fear-fueled stories that leave you powerless.

✅ Access to my private notes: what actually helped, what didn’t, and the lessons that saved me months (or years!) of heartbreak

✅ Daily, intentional self-work & re-programming - not just one-off workshops or short-lived “aha!” moments

✅ No demons. No ghost stories. Just clear psychology, grounded facts, and real tools to set you free.

Everything comes straight to your email, Substack website, or the free app - no appointments needed.

Hi. I’m Carmen Sakurai

BS Psy, Certified Trauma-Informed Master Life Coach… and survivor.

I am a Certified Trauma-Informed Master Life Coach and Certified Coach Practitioner specializing in several psychotherapy techniques including CBT, DBT, and REBT. I am also trained & certified in Mental and Behavioral Health Studies with focus on Stress Management, Burnout Prevention, Depression, and Suicide/Violent Behavior.

So with over 20 years of study, training, and certifications, you’d think I’d be immune to manipulation and abuse.

Nope.

I’ve lived the crazy-making, made excuses for people who thought nothing of disregarding my feelings and disrespecting me, and found myself repeating the same insanity inducing, heart breaking cycles I swore I’d never return to.

I’ve sat in darkness so heavy, I reached for the National Lifeline.

⚡I know this isn’t just a bad breakup you can “move on” from.
⚡I know not all mothers are wired to love their children
⚡I know what it feels like to “live” just trying to survive each day
⚡I know hopelessness so deep, you wonder if giving up would hurt less

And when Complex PTSD symptoms and Borderline Personality traits started showing up, I thought:

Are you kidding me? I’m a single mom raising my son and running a business alone - I don’t have time for this!

So I made a deal with myself: Just 24 hours of observing my automatic thoughts and behaviors and consciously changing the damaging patterns.

Then another 24.

Then another.

Choice by choice, the self-loathing, emptiness, fear of abandonment, and daily flashbacks began to quiet.

Choosing me went from being a practice… to reflex.

Now, I live flashback and trigger-free, protect my peace without apology, and respect who I’ve become. Effortlessly.

And now?

I’m here to help you → Choose YOU.

DISCLAIMER

I am not a licensed therapist and the information and validation I share is from the perspective of a narcissistic abuse survivor for informational and educational purposes only. Information contained in this site is in no way a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your mental health professional or other qualified health providers with questions you may have regarding your condition.

Choose YOU! isn’t just a project - it’s my mission, and my full-time work.
Every resource, update, and insight here is built to help survivors see the truth, heal deeply, and reclaim their lives.

To keep this space growing and sustainable, I offer free, paid, and advocate memberships - each designed to give you real, ongoing support wherever you are in your journey. ❤️

FREE subscribers:

• The Choose YOU! Podcast - broadcasted every week. You can consider this as a type of “audio coaching” where I cover important facts to guide you through the narcissistic abuse recovery journey, smash myths that could potentially hinder your progress, and answer your questions.

• Weekly Check-In (accompanies each podcast episode) to delve deeper into what was covered in the week’s podcast episode including: the science behind it, why it’s important in your healing & breakthrough, and how you can use it to empower yourself.

• Free Guides - easy to understand, introductory guides to help with your journey to recovery.
  

PAID subscribers:

• The CY! Complete Healing Ecosystem. This is a living, growing resource created to help survivors of narcissistic abuse understand what happened, recognize manipulation tactics, heal, and reclaim our lives.

• Each week, I introduce a Healing Framework from the Ecosystem to provide clear direction for your self-guided healing journey. This is supported by one or more of the following:

  • Case Studies of my actual clients, including the emotional injuries we’ve identified and their steps to recovery

  • Pattern Adjustment Homework with proven steps to remove and replace any distorted thoughts and beliefs that affect how you view yourself and engage with every aspect of your life

  • Personal Essays laying out what I did to cope, process, and overcome this particular stage of healing, as well as steps for you to try yourself.

  • FAQs so you are not left hanging with loose ends.

• Virtual Q&A where you can ask your questions to clarify, receive validation, and get support.

• Off the Record - these are behind the scenes audios & videos where I share my observations, mistakes & assumptions during my own recovery.

• SOS Cards to help guide you out of stuck-points when you’re feeling weak & confused.

• Weekly “Framework in Practice” thread - where I share how I’ve applied one of the frameworks during the week, how it worked out (or didn’t), and invite you to share your own wins and learning experiences.

• 50% Discount to my “Carmen vs. the Bullsh*t” subscription - where I role-play skills to build real-world mental & emotional strength, show you how to reply to toxic texts and other interactions that you submit… so you can practice anchoring yourself in truth and move with confidence.

ADVOCATE / FOUNDING members:

• All of the above

• Deep Discount: 50-Minute 1:1 Coaching Call for $50 (once a month/non-cumulative) - I set aside a block of time for this group to answer your most pressing questions. (Current rate - $197 per hour.)

• Livestreams - where we hang out, get your questions answered, and talk about whatever is on your mind.

• Virtual Workshops I host throughout the year (I’m aiming for 3x a year)

• PLUS, your subscription supports paid subscriptions for survivors struggling financially. Thank you for your help in making recovery accessible to those who would not be able to receive it otherwise.

Why are Comments Open to Paid Members Only?

Choose YOU! Pocket Coaching is designed to be a truly safe space.

It takes courage to start healing from narcissistic or emotionally abusive relationships. Admitting something wasn’t right - in your family, your romantic relationship, or even your oldest friendship - is hard enough. Stepping up and asking for help? That’s a BIG DEAL.

That’s why it’s essential to create a space where you can share, process, and grow without added grief, trolling, or interference.

Because here’s the reality:

Some people - intentionally or not - invalidate, minimize, or gaslight survivors who speak up about their experiences.

That’s not OK.

You’ve been silenced long enough. Now is your time to CHOOSE YOU: your peace, your healing, and a life where you feel genuinely safe and seen.

While the podcast and weekly check-ins stay free and public - the paywalled comments and chats keep our community conversations private, protected, and focused on your growth.

Whichever Level You Choose to Join Us…

Together, we’ll throw everything I’ve got at what tried to keep you small:

• My education in personality disorders.

• My training in human behavior.

• And most importantly - the raw truth I earned as a survivor.

You’ll learn to stop shrinking, start seeing clearly, and Choose YOU!

I believe you.

You’re NOT alone.